Meeting people based on mutual interests that relate to boners

Yesterday was my very first “hypnosis munch”.

From what I understand, there is a very small but tight-knit hypnosis scene in New England. This is fantastic. I totally want to meet all of them. I’m jealous that there are so many and they are so terribly organized. A few weeks ago, I received an email from the lovely and gracious Miss Mephki, who lives in Boston and is part of the hypnoscene up there, and she expressed interest in meeting the New York hypnoscene. My first thought was, “oh dear… I think it’s just me.” But that’s not quite true. There are a handful of hypnotists living around here, who I’ve gone to parties with, and met and talked to and played with. I’m sure there are plenty I have yet to meet. It’s just rare for all of us to be in the same room together.

I’m also one of the two outspoken hypno enthusiasts I’m aware of who is female and is a bottom (subject? I never settled on a good term for “someone who prefers to get hypnotized). And I am outspoken ad nauseum.

Which is a strange thing if you think about it.

Meeting new people in a fetish sort of context is still odd to me. In “vanilla” (for lack of a better term) interactions, upon first meeting people, it would be difficult to drop into conversation the specifics of what, exactly, turns me on. What gets me wet. You go to a class on the first day, you don’t tell people “Hi, I’m new here, my name is Bob and hypnosis gives me an erection.” You have to earn the trust of say, a close friend, and after a long time of friendship you confess in one drunken night at 3 am that you have this kooky fetish. But at a munch situation, especially one for a fetish as specific as this, you meet someone new, you shake their hand, and already you know exactly what gets them hard. And they know what gets you wet. And there’s a weird vulnerability that comes with that. And a freedom, as well.

I think one of the reasons why I’ve felt so exhilarated and at home in the kink scene for the past year and a half since I jumped headfirst into it is this bypassing of the long building up of trust (or just copious amounts of booze, whichever). Before I came out (as it were) I was TERRIFIED of my fetish. I was ashamed of my very D/s, bisexual hypnosis fantasies. The boyfriend I had knew I enjoyed being tied to headboards and a certain degree of dirty talk, but it took years before I finally worked up the courage to tell him that I thought the hottest thing ever would be if he swung a watch in front of my eyes. He said no, and after a disastrous breakup, I decided that dammit, I WAS going to get hypnotized, so I entered the BDSM scene.

One of the reasons, I think, why I’m so outspoken about this particular fetish of mine (I have others, big surprise!), is because I can be now. When this is the first thing a person knows about me, before I even shake their hand or learn there name, then that fretting about whether I’m a weirdo or a pervert is rendered unnecessary. It helps that the hand I’m shaking is usually attached to another weirdo pervert. I need to talk about hypnosis all the time, and I need everyone on this goddamn planet (except my parents) to know about my hypnofetish because the more outspoken about it I am, the less scary it is. If I’m an open book, than I’ve got nothing worth hiding (which relates to how I feel about exhibitionism, but that’s for a different post). And I’m starting to open up to people about other, more deeply hidden things, which is both exhilarating and comforting. Also, holy crap, hypnosis is kind of the coolest thing ever and I’m a big nerd.

The hypnomunch was then an interesting, and rather new experience, as it was definitely the most specific sort of fetish gathering I’ve been to. This was by far the largest group of hypnofetishists I’ve ever seen in the same place (about 10). I met some new people, connected with friends I haven’t seen in a long time, saw some people I’d rather not have seen; lots of awkward conversation was had as well as some excellent discussion. And we all knew exactly what got each other hard. And they all knew exactly what got me wet. Because I told them all, of course.


5 Responses to “Meeting people based on mutual interests that relate to boners”

  1. 1 StacyCat December 2, 2009 at 4:41 am

    I wonder how much better society would be if everyone did introduce themselves by a major thing that gets them aroused?

    “Hi, I’m Stacy, and I like getting tied up.”

  2. 2 Chewtoy December 21, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    Hah, that fear is why I haven’t ever been to an event like that, why I mostly don’t talk about the fetish with people I wouldn’t discuss other intimate details of my sex life with. (Or total strangers on the internet under a pseudonym! Hi!)

    Your approach sounds exhilarating. 🙂

  3. 3 Fluence January 25, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    Really good post, I don’t feel brave enough to seek out people with a similar interest at the moment, but I’m thinking I might do it soon. Oddly it seems easier to admit to being generally into BDSM than the specifics. I’ve told a few friends that I’m a hypno-fetishist, and fortunately it hasn’t gone down too badly with partners over the years (Hint: go out with Sci-Fi geeks)

  4. 4 mesmer7 January 25, 2010 at 2:09 pm

    Socializing for it’s own sake has never appealed to me. You’d never catch me at a bar or club, or even a family gathering. The only time I socialize is to meet people who share interests and exchange knowledge. I enjoyed writer’s groups and philosophy discussions. And I think it would have been interesting to attend an erotic hypnosis munch. Too bad I didn’t know about the group when I was in Baltimore. I’d have tried to attend.

  5. 5 Ru'etha March 4, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    This has a lot of meaning… after we talked a bit last night, I came over and read this and I’d love to talk more with you about it. I agree with more than 90% of it, and where we differ I think is just the joyous thing of being two different people. 🙂 If you’d talked to me ten years ago, the differences would have been even smaller.

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